About memories

Day 6.

I meant to post on Day 3 but never got around to it. Now it's Day 6 already and I don't know where the time went. In a positive way. Because I can remember everything I did over the last few days.

Unlike when I was still drinking, when I regularly could not remember important conversations I'd had.

Example:
I asked my 17 year old what time he had come home the night before. He looked at me and said, "Mom, you saw me in the kitchen after I came home last night." I couldn't remember. At all. Couldn't remember being in the kitchen, but the evidence was the greasy plate sitting on my bedside table. Couldn't remember how that got there, either. Couldn't remember what I'd been eating. Couldn't remember who I talked with or what we talked about.  That happened more than once. I also used to wake up in the middle of the night, trying to work out if he had come home or not, if he had let me know he would be staying at  a friend or not, where he was supposed to be right now and whether I was still fit to be a mother.

That's just one of the memory loss scenarios.  I have some very vague recollections of having a Facebook calling spree where I called four different people in overseas countries in a row, one of whom I only know through website discussions and had never spoken to, two of whom I had not seen in years. I don't know how drunk I sounded. I don't know what we discussed. I don't know whether what I was saying made  any sense or whether sounded anywhere near coherent. Probably not.

I feel relieved at the fact that I don't have to go through such embarrassment ever again. The solution is so simple.

I have sobered up and I look forward to a sober life that is free of all the unnatural, alcohol-induced problems and embarrassments.

Day 6. I have not "given up" anything. I don't feel deprived.  Quite the opposite.

I am getting my life back.