Sunday, October 23, 2016

Growing a tooth

I love charts. Good charts tell a story. I love making charts, too. I could make charts and dashboards all day. And that's what I do at work most of the time. Aren't I lucky to be enjoying my work so much?!!

So, as a data/charting person, I will of course collect data about my sobriety and will make it into charts. Here's one.




In March this year I started logging my alcohol free days. I have had many, many, many attempts to give up alcohol before that date, but it always felt like that: I was giving something up. Not drinking alcohol was a sacrifice. It was not what I really wanted. So, small wonder that my attempts never lasted very long.

If I were to chart my last three years, it would look very much like the fist half of the chart above: I start Day 1 vowing to my self to give up alcohol and I stick with it for a few days. The line is going up. I'm growing a tooth. I make it to Day 5, maybe to Day 10, but the wine witch/beast/wolfie gets the better of me and I fall back down. Sometimes I immediately try again, but I only last a couple of days, and the teeth I grow are getting smaller and weaker. Then there will be long stretches where I'm toothless, chewing on my gums.

Alcohol has taken all the bite out of me (Sorry, but I couldn't let that one pass without using it) and my sobriety flatlines. I'm depressed and keep drinking every day until I can muster up the resolve to try again.

But can you see the big change?

Six weeks ago today I started growing a tooth that is still healthy and strong. I'm six weeks sober today. I no longer feel that I'm "giving up" alcohol, because it has no appeal to me anymore. The bigger and stronger that tooth grows, the more confidence I have to bare my teeth, give an awful, angry snarl and scare the wine witch away if she dares to come and whisper in my ear.

Another thing this chart reminds me of is a see saw. It goes up and down. Thing is, a real see saw will have the same angle going down as it has going up, whereas the alcohol see saw brings you down with a crash. And it hurts!

I have left my see-saw behind and climbed into a rocket. See my vapor trail.

The only way is up.

(Do you want to chart your rocket trail? If I get enough comments from people, I'll upload an Excel file.)


12 comments:

  1. Great chart! I love a good chart too. My weight loss chart is a mirror image of this one - years of little teeth and then (from about 100 days after I quit) a descending rocket! Huge congrats on 6 weeks! I'm going to post your web address on my blog when I get a moment.... Xxx

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  2. Hi - I came from SoberMummy's blog and have read your posts. I'm a data person also, huge excel user and while pivot tables are more my gig than pies & charts, I really like the idea that you saw "teeth" in your chart. I never would have thought of that and I love it! I had a wonderful rocket trail from March thru September but lately it's fallen a bit flat. Looking forward to hearing more from you!

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    1. Hi Emily, I don't yet have enough data for a pivot. But that will come over time. I hope you get back into your rocket!!

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    2. Trying to get back on my rocket too! I love data and spreadsheets as well!

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  3. Hi, likewise, I come from SM's blog - more of a powerpoint person myself - perhaps you could embed a chart? Keep going, you'll soon have a a set of molars, actually I think you would prefer wolf fangs or a tusk or two.

    Justonemore

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    1. Hi Justonemore. Thanks for your comment. I like the way you think!

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  4. Hello, just found your blog via SM. really looking forward to catching up on all your blogs so far. I'm 14 days today 😊

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  5. Hey Shazza, well done! Keep going!

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  6. Love this. Huge inspiration for me as Im on Day 1--- again. Hoping to make it stick this time.

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  7. I love this analogy! I grew a big tooth for awhile and am back to growing small/medium sized ones. Thinking of this as sinking your teeth into something is awesome!

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    1. Hello HabitDone, glad you like the analogy. I hope that thinking like this will give me an extra edge, which will help when I don't feel so strong.

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